Today I received mail!!!
I was excited as it was my life insurance results. Previously I was denied because of the mental health struggles in my past, and now applying after being discharged from my psychiatrist and having been stabilized for 3 years, I was excited about this letter. When I opened it, I was disappointed. I was denied due to anorexia (6 years ago) and depression (3 years ago). My initial feelings were anger and feelings of defeat. Recognizing these emotions inside, I decided to open Gods word.
Psalm 30 reads,
“ I will extol you, O Lord, for you have lifted me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me. O Lord my God, I CRIED TO YOU AND YOU HEALED ME. O Lord, You have brought my life up from Sheol (the place of the dead); You have kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit (the grave). Sing to the Lord, O you saints of His, and give thanks at the remembrance of His Holy name. For His Anger is but for a moment, but his favour is for a lifetime or in his favour is life. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. As for me, in my prosperity I said, I shall never be moved. By your favour, O Lord, You have established me as a strong mountain; you hid your face from me and I was troubled. I have cried to you Lord, and to the Lord I made a supplication. What profit is there in my blood when I go down to the pit (the grave)? Will the dust praise you? Will it declare your truth and faithfulness to men? Hear, O Lord, have mercy and be gracious to me! O Lord, be my helper! You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; you have put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness, To the end that my to hue and my heart and everything glorious within me may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.” (Amplified version)
As I read this passage, I gained confidence by the truth, that God has indeed healed me, despite what the judgements of the life insurance decided. As I kept reading, my anger was transformed by His truth into singing and rejoicing. I am so thankful that God has lifted me out of a pit of despair and that he has placed me on solid ground. I am thankful that he has helped stabilize me and for all the accomplishments I have had because of him! Therefore, I have decided that I will not allow this letter to take away from the truth, and from me remembering and celebrating the many years of joy and health I have experienced!!!
What has God done in your life that you need to remember and be encouraged by at this time?